Have you seen the trailer for The Season of the Witch yet?
“Can so much be entrusted to him?” the trailer asks, speaking of Cage’s lank haired, armour clad character. I think we can answer with a firm and uninhibited “yes”. Cage is so trustworthy as a main character, that I’ve started to reformat every one of his film titles as “The Something Man”. True, he’s not always the main character, but it works enough to amuse me. Perhaps you could do this for every male leading man, but it seems particularly fitting giving Cage’s preference for character’s with highly defined quirks and personality traits.
Following this formula, the next films we’re going to watch and review are probably “The OCD Man”, “The Family Man Man” and “The First Lady Bodyguard Man” (he’s her bodyguard! even though she can’t stand him!).
In the meantime, watch the trailer for a film that was just made for Nicolas Cage, but inexplicably stars Mel Gibson instead. I swear, me and Adam are making ‘Ah’m the beava, an’ ah’m ‘ere to save yer damn life’ a meme by hook or by crook (not that I think it really needs the help!)
Nicolas Cage loses his shi(r)t.
I’ve been succumbing to DVD-binges on Amazon, and putting my local independent DVD supplier out of business.
To assuage my guilt, I’ve bought only the cheapest DVDs, and consequently have a random bargain bucket of Cage films set to arrive at my door sometime in the next two weeks. These are they, two a penny Cage’s for an insatiable generation.
- Windtalkers. The cheapest at one penny plus postage and packing. We have to break the action film barrier at some point.
- Honeymoon inVegas. This one is in the ‘passion’ part of the Venn diagram, so it’s sure to be interesting.
- Snake Eyes. Probably going to give this one to Adam.
- Guarding Tess. She employs him as a bodyguard, even though she hates him! Looking forward to this. Perhaps a Christmas day film?
- The Family Man. Some kind of hangdog morality tale, maybe? I suspect I’ll be watching this one alone.
Also we still have The Wicker Man, star of a hundred youtube clip videos yet to watch and add our own vital commentary to before your astonished face!
Adam has bought ‘Bringing out the Dead’ and I have ‘The Boy in Blue’ waiting to be watched and reviewed. I also have a copy of ‘The Wicker Man’ (Director’s Cut: More Evil Awaits Inside) which we’ll save for a special treat some time in the next few weeks. In the meantime, here’s a Nicolas Cage variety show of movie taglines copied from IMDB. Some of them are pretty special. First person to match them all up correctly wins Nic Cage singing ‘Love me Tender’ to them with a plastic nose on his nose.
- A retired master car thief must come back to the industry and steal 50 cars with his crew in one night to save his brother’s life.
- Based on the life of Ned Hanlan, the late-19th century Canadian sculler and world champion. Hanlan was one of the first scullers to successfully utilize the “sliding seat.”
- After her boyfriend ends their relationship, the dreamself of a heartbroken woman floats through the air over an industrial wasteland singing ballads of love.
- A former First Lady of the US wants a particular Secret Service agent to head her bodyguard detail, even though he can’t stand her.
- Rusty James, an absent-minded street thug struggles to live up to his legendary older brother’s reputation, and longs for the days when gang warfare was going on.
- A fast-lane investment broker, offered the opportunity to see how the other half lives, wakes up to find that his sports car and girlfriend have become a mini-van and wife.
- A specially trained squad of guinea pigs is dispatched to stop a diabolical billionaire from taking over the world.
A genius called Kirsty Puchko from The Film Stage has come up with an incredible venn diagram to demonstrate the motivations of Mr Cage. What more to add?
This is the utopia we are aiming for.
Nic Cage as Everyone